Choreographing

Setting a choreography can be a nightmare and a blessing. For me, it was so much easier to set my first piece because no one expected anything of me. But the first one (to my great shock) turned out well, and now the pressure is on to keep creating. I just want to remember to let it happen naturally. But there's a deadline, and I don't have days and weeks to think about how I want to tweak and change the piece. The way it is it has to stay.
Choreography is a blessing. A way to get out the creativity buried deep within and put it out there for others to be affected by it. A way to take what is in my imagination, the visions you get when you hear a certain music, and make them real.
Choreography is a nightmare. I wake up at night thinking about it. I worry that it won't look good, that the dancers can't handle it, that it won't measure up the the standards I have set. I've actually made myself sick to my stomach with worry. And then I turn in to a monster at the rehearsals and yell.
My mother gave me some lovely advice over the phone. Probably no one will know the mistakes except me. But sometimes just me knowing is enough to drive me crazy. Only time will tell.......
As always, creating something is a privilege, a gift that God allows me to use and something for which I am deeply grateful. It is a step away from some of the problems that are in daily life and a step into a world where I can freely change and tweak to make something good.