People Who Inspire

I have been one of those fortunate people who grew up in the church. Not just any church, however, but in a church surrounded by encouraging and inspiring people. Now, as I look back at my fortunate childhood and upbringing, I reminisce about people who still inspire awe and admiration - and they don't even know it.
Missionaries are some of the most fantastic people on the planet. They always put others before themselves, and always honor the greatest and most worthy call. I look at those that spend part of the year doing missions work, and give their time and donations to see that work continued. I am inspired by the young missionary couples that at my age left behind an entire culture in order to obey a calling. People that have learned new languages, withstood poverty, and pushed on despite discouraging circumstances because they believe in a cause. There is a single woman I know who drove to Mexico because that was what God wanted her to do. And although I have had my share of difficulties and loneliness, it has only been for short periods of my life. I can only begin to imagine the hardship that comes with making a lifetime commitment to a difficult lifestyle.
Looking back, I also realize that my mother was my age when she had made the choice to live the life of a missionary. This weighs heavily on me. Out of all the pastors and missionaries I have met, my parents have always amazed me the most. I see a lifetime dedication to a good work, to God, to hundreds of lives that have been touched over the years. In the case of my mother, I sometimes feel that she gave her life for this cause. My father is still doing it. The passion he continues to display is overwhelming.
And yet, I haven't the courage to ask any of these people how it feels to change the world - even if it seems small on the larger scale of our universe. Because when I look at all the people I know who change the world on a daily basis, who live humble lives, who live to help the next person who comes into their lives, I feel small and insignificant. That's ok though, because I think - as corny or cheesy as it may sound - that's how you feel when you have lived around and been surrounded by heroes.

Choreographing

Setting a choreography can be a nightmare and a blessing. For me, it was so much easier to set my first piece because no one expected anything of me. But the first one (to my great shock) turned out well, and now the pressure is on to keep creating. I just want to remember to let it happen naturally. But there's a deadline, and I don't have days and weeks to think about how I want to tweak and change the piece. The way it is it has to stay.
Choreography is a blessing. A way to get out the creativity buried deep within and put it out there for others to be affected by it. A way to take what is in my imagination, the visions you get when you hear a certain music, and make them real.
Choreography is a nightmare. I wake up at night thinking about it. I worry that it won't look good, that the dancers can't handle it, that it won't measure up the the standards I have set. I've actually made myself sick to my stomach with worry. And then I turn in to a monster at the rehearsals and yell.
My mother gave me some lovely advice over the phone. Probably no one will know the mistakes except me. But sometimes just me knowing is enough to drive me crazy. Only time will tell.......
As always, creating something is a privilege, a gift that God allows me to use and something for which I am deeply grateful. It is a step away from some of the problems that are in daily life and a step into a world where I can freely change and tweak to make something good.